The Great Mystery of Left-Handed Scissors That Always Cut Wrong

I was trying to cut some ribbon for a gift last Tuesday and I noticed something deeply unsettling about scissors — they're designed with this inherent left-handed bias because the blades cross in a way that makes right-handed cutting feel natural while forcing lefties into awkward maneuvers, which is kind of like how restaurants design everything around the right hand, from can openers to spiral notebooks. It reminds me of my uncle Larry who was a lefty and used to get so frustrated with pens that he'd end up writing with his right hand for an entire sentence and then switch back mid-thought as if his brain were trying to negotiate between two parallel realities. The thing is, I never had scissors like those growing up because my grandmother always gave me the ones her sisters had which meant I was cutting everything with a knife until about age ten and that shaped how I approach problem solving — I'd rather find a workaround than try to use a tool that wasn't designed for me. It's the same principle as when you go into an IKEA and realize halfway through that every direction is wrong because you entered through the exit, or like my friend Sarah who keeps buying right-handed tape dispensers even though she's left-dominant which I can only assume is some kind of psychological masochism at this point. Anyway, does anyone else find themselves constantly fighting against tools designed for someone else and do you have any hacks for it because if I have to cut another ribbon with a knife I might lose my mind.

I swear I was born with right hand scissors in my pocket and left hand ones on the desk for some reason. The design is so backwards, like someone designed them while looking through a mirror. There's gotta be a lefty version somewhere but it feels like an urban legend at this point.

wait am i stupid or is it actually true that left handed scissors don't exist for real? like they just make them to sell us stuff and we pay extra but they cut exactly like normal ones?? because my dad has been trying to use his right hand to do crafts at church for twenty years and he keeps getting paper jams and i honestly thought there was a legitimate structural difference. is it actually fake or am i just not understanding the physics of blade angles? please help bc this is stressing

literally my life's struggle